Planning, packing and departing... but there is more.
Disoriented
Unfamiliar, unrecognizable, unrecognized, confusion, displaced
belonging?
Loss
Familiar faces, places, patterns, surroundings
Longing to be Settled
in a community of friends,
in a home and land to which we belong,
to have a compelling calling that breaths life into us and through us
Companions Along the Way
Memories, questions, fear, insecurity, mourning, gratitude,
hope, dispair, anxiousness
Anxiousness
keep moving, eat...again....more, sleep, lay awake
grasping, running, stirring, stirring
We are being stirred... to what end?
to what beginning?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Costco
We were in Chicago Easter weekend and, as has become our habit, we decided to do some shopping at Costco while we were there. The friends we visit have a membership and the appeal of dried mango and an oversized bag of pistachios is usually more than we can resist. Of course we never leave with just those items.
As we went into the store I was keenly aware of a sense of strangeness to the place. It is true we hadn't been in over a year, but the store was just as I remembered it. I couldn't quite tell what it was until I began my usual routine of hitting up the samples while Mel did the shopping. I waited my turn to try the bagel and with cream cheese and upon taking it instinctually looked at the man who was serving it and said "thank you" before turning to get out of the way so others could fight there way in. My own voice suddenly woke me to the silence. I hadn't heard anyone say a thing to the man or woman who were feverishly trying to smear cream cheese fast enough to feed the hungry hands that snapped up each piece as quickly as it was put down. Not only was there little to no acknowledgement that these sample servers existed, there was little to know acknowledgement that anyone else in the store existed. I was in a crowd of people who were isolated within the bubble of the ones they came with. Well, isn't that always the way it is in a crowd?
Thankfully I have been in a few places where that isn't the case. I rode a train from Chicago to Philadelphia a few years ago. I was struck by the laid back and conversational mood of the passengers. One couple I visited with was actually on the last leg of their journey from the west coast and they were clearly at ease, naturally moving in and out of conversations with the people around them and sharing snacks or the newspaper when they were finished. It wasn't at all one of those "why do they think they have to talk to me, can't they figure out my body language is saying I'm not interested and shut up." They really reflected the mood of the entire train. People were at ease. They were not in a hurry, for if they were they would have taken a plane. They were enjoying the scenery and the people around them. Another memorable experience where a crowd did not equal busy isolated bubbles of people was at a farmers market not too many miles from Costco. That experience too was one of vibrant conversations, real connection and interest between people and contagious pleasure.
Honestly the contrast between the two is so discomforting that I would rather wrap up this post instead of go on... though there is so much more that could be said, like the amount of packaging on the Costco products, the distance they had traveled, the quantity and variety of preservatives and unnatural additives, overconsumption, the number of SUV's in the parking lot that consume large quantities of fuel in order to give the "tough off road" feel and yet had never left the pavement and only occasionally left the city, or the amount of debt, excess and envy that these and other oversized or high priced cars give. As you can see, to continue to follow along these lines of thinking is really quite exhausting.
So, I'll close with this confession. Though I despise so much of what I saw the truth is that all of it is in some way present in me too. I can't escape it by leaving Costco or if I were to move into the country and live off the land. In all this you hear a crying out for something more... for conscientious community and in order for that to even be possible I can't remove myself from the problem or the blame. Indeed, each of the SUV, oversized cart fillers, multinational food conglomerate owners, inconsiderate food package designers and the like are my brothers and sisters. How will I be as a brother to them?
As we went into the store I was keenly aware of a sense of strangeness to the place. It is true we hadn't been in over a year, but the store was just as I remembered it. I couldn't quite tell what it was until I began my usual routine of hitting up the samples while Mel did the shopping. I waited my turn to try the bagel and with cream cheese and upon taking it instinctually looked at the man who was serving it and said "thank you" before turning to get out of the way so others could fight there way in. My own voice suddenly woke me to the silence. I hadn't heard anyone say a thing to the man or woman who were feverishly trying to smear cream cheese fast enough to feed the hungry hands that snapped up each piece as quickly as it was put down. Not only was there little to no acknowledgement that these sample servers existed, there was little to know acknowledgement that anyone else in the store existed. I was in a crowd of people who were isolated within the bubble of the ones they came with. Well, isn't that always the way it is in a crowd?
Thankfully I have been in a few places where that isn't the case. I rode a train from Chicago to Philadelphia a few years ago. I was struck by the laid back and conversational mood of the passengers. One couple I visited with was actually on the last leg of their journey from the west coast and they were clearly at ease, naturally moving in and out of conversations with the people around them and sharing snacks or the newspaper when they were finished. It wasn't at all one of those "why do they think they have to talk to me, can't they figure out my body language is saying I'm not interested and shut up." They really reflected the mood of the entire train. People were at ease. They were not in a hurry, for if they were they would have taken a plane. They were enjoying the scenery and the people around them. Another memorable experience where a crowd did not equal busy isolated bubbles of people was at a farmers market not too many miles from Costco. That experience too was one of vibrant conversations, real connection and interest between people and contagious pleasure.
Honestly the contrast between the two is so discomforting that I would rather wrap up this post instead of go on... though there is so much more that could be said, like the amount of packaging on the Costco products, the distance they had traveled, the quantity and variety of preservatives and unnatural additives, overconsumption, the number of SUV's in the parking lot that consume large quantities of fuel in order to give the "tough off road" feel and yet had never left the pavement and only occasionally left the city, or the amount of debt, excess and envy that these and other oversized or high priced cars give. As you can see, to continue to follow along these lines of thinking is really quite exhausting.
So, I'll close with this confession. Though I despise so much of what I saw the truth is that all of it is in some way present in me too. I can't escape it by leaving Costco or if I were to move into the country and live off the land. In all this you hear a crying out for something more... for conscientious community and in order for that to even be possible I can't remove myself from the problem or the blame. Indeed, each of the SUV, oversized cart fillers, multinational food conglomerate owners, inconsiderate food package designers and the like are my brothers and sisters. How will I be as a brother to them?
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